Mandatory xkcd comic: https://xkcd.com/927
(replace "standards" with "FS")
If you're really conservative with these things, as some of us are, you currently don't really have a single safe COW pick. (Smug FreeBSD users incoming.) I have most trust in bcachefs over the long term.
DKMS works fine. And you can also take the NixOS approach where it's not built into the kernel but the system will never actually install a new kernel unless ZFS is supported on it and successfully builds for it.
I agree that it's still not ideal, though. I hope bcachefs thrives and takes a place of pride in the Linux world!
I have both bcachefs and ext4 filesystems on the same machine, for different uses.