Smart jerks aren't worth it
tonyalicea.dev
tonyalicea.dev
There's the pitch.
Most of the time people aren't trying to be jerks. They're just not having a need met. They may or may not know about the need, or may or may not be working to address it. It may be something that you're responsible for that you're not acknowledging.
Don't underestimate how far a little humility, open ears, and boundary setting might get you. Writing the person off as a jerk just makes the problem worse.
Not to say you're responsible for anyone elses bad behavior, but it's also not ok to pin all the problems of team dynamics on one person. Having a emotionally healthy productive team is a lot of work, and it's a group effort.
There is "team" in "team dynamics". It is absolutely a group effort. I will say, though, it's a group effort that can be greatly impacted by just one individual.
It's also amazing what a "sorry, x,y, and z are very hard for me, I'm doing my best and still learning to do better" will go. Of course, not everyone receives that with grace, but that speaks to their character.
And for my side, I try to distinguish between someone being a jerk and someone I just don't mesh with. I'm thinking of a specific coworker right now. They and I mixed like oil and water. They're smart, competent, and well-meaning. I respect them professionally. However, something about them rubbed me the wrong way, and I'm certain they'd say the same about me. We were never going to be work buddies. They weren't being a jerk, though. Our personalities weren't compatible, no more. I'd still give them a good reference.
I too think that real jerkish behavior is rare, versus needing to apply soft skills to a person who has a need that isn’t being met. But when a real one is in a team, I think it’s a serious enough event to warrant consideration of the topic.
I've always kept that lesson in mind since and it's never led me astray. Companies that put up with those personalities just aren't worth it.
Every time I've seen it shared, it was shared by a plain-old, regular jerk.
But as adults, we forget this lesson and openly call one another jerks, toxic, Nazis, etc.
The adult behavior is just as childish but less wise.
Why, Star Trek is basically that. Or at least used to be.
So many persons displaying enviable teamwork and professionalism. Science fiction!
The former, even when they have conflicts, it's something they're sad about; the latter, it feels like they enjoy jabbing each other.
It’s great that they get along, but they don’t accomplish much, if anything.
For every such article you could write one called "Short String Isn't Worth It."
Obviously, depending on your context, working with difficult people is necessary and worth it. Sometimes it may not be worth it to you, but it's worth it to other people.
Lots of people at Apple did not want Steve Jobs to return, after he left. But lots of people did, and he arguably made everyone there (whom he didn't fire) a whole lot of money. Was it worth it or not? Depends how you feel about things.
Articles like this can be better written when the author reminds himself to focus on the elements and forces, rather than reifying and polarizing the topic into a garish stereotype.
The point of an article like this ought to be to help people examine themselves and their situation so as to reconcile themselves to it or to take productive action. Pitchforks and torches aren't helpful.
If I'm going to spend 40+ hours a week interacting with someone, I'm not going to hire a brilliant jerk. I don't care if they're great at their job. If I'm going go spend most of our time together wanting to scream at them, I don't want any part of it. No thanks. Life's too short to spend it around jerks.
Genius is a blessing, yes, but it is often a burden. "Genius" implies bright talents but may imply deficits, too. Either way, this person didn't necessarily ask for that, and may struggle to express their ideas in a way which isn't combative. Genius in one area (say, programming) does not always follow in another (emotional regulation).
We should be humane with people as they grow. Indeed, the single best aspect of the mind is that it can change when it wants to.
...you do know you can reject the position, correct? You're not obligated to take the job once the interviewing process has started.
I’m didn’t raise my voice or curse or anything like that. I just said “this isn’t a good fit. Thank you for your time”, got up, and left.
For every smart jerk there's a manager who endorses that person and who also has a manager who in turn either has the same attitude or "lets them cook" as long as KPIs are fulfilled.
People will generally downplay toxic behaviour if they exhibit it themselves. Not saying that's always the case, but in my experience it's much more common than management being intimidated enough by the jerk to not want to touch them.
I'd take a genius jerk vs. any regular dude, the conversation may be unpleasant but at least interesting.
>Let's define the term "jerk" here as someone who is both intentionally, and obnoxiously aggressive. Aggressive in their enforcement of their own opinions and dismissive of others'. Obnoxious in the frequency of unnecessary negative interactions with them. Intentional in that they understand their behavior is aggressive, and choose not to adjust it.
Intent is impossible to prove (or so I've been told). He uses the implicit heuristic of, "They keep doing it." However, it (obnoxiously aggressive behavior) is in the eye of the beholder (or, often, in the appearance of the accused). What is "frequent" and "unnecessary"? By who's metric? What's the line between "opinionated" and "browbeater"? Does it shift depending on the identity of the individual? (Yes.)
>Ultimately, you know you're dealing with someone who is acting like a jerk by how you feel after interacting with them.
This criteria is just asking to be abused by people who hold prejudice. Some people are irrational or traumatized, and it's okay to sympathize with their take on an individual while also understanding that they're not being reasonable. Likewise, it's possible for a charismatic and energetic individual's behavior to be deleterious; coworkers don't necessarily walk away feeling overtly attacked, but their tendency to self-police to the bully's desire might be raised. Such jerks often also zero-in on "fair targets", leaving them as the only people to feel abused, while everyone else rationalises their treatment as deserved.
IME, the best way to root out actual jerks is to focus on people with power (by however mechanism, they are able to get people to do what they want them to do, more so than those people are able to get them to do things) who are quick (within one or two negative interactions) to blackball others (maintains a sh*t list, ghosts, verbally harasses, particularly in a way that isolates the target).
Instead focus on behaviours, I've seen frustrated people raising genuine problems labelled as a jerk.
For example, is the guy who picks up on issues in code reviews the one who is a jerk?
This is still a bug, not a feature. These people all handicapped themselves from even greater success.
The world has far more unsuccessful jerks than successful ones.
That's not a very useful metric. Now, if the proportion of successful jerks vs non-successful jerks were much lower than that of successful nice people vs. non-successful ones, that might be interesting to look at as a starting point.
That said, what does "successful" even mean, and why is it something worth pursuing?
You can enforce quality standards without being a jerk. There are many, many projects doing so.
On the contrary, it takes extra time to go out of your way to curse someone out and question their parentage, rather than just telling them what's wrong with their code. It seems like you're imagining a straw maintainer being obsequious, rather than just not being a jerk.
But Linux means big money, it's not just "wrong code" but corporate interest attempting to get their way into the kernel (plenty of examples in the .org mailing list), or HW manufactures trying to get support for their stuff for free, etc. It's not as naive as "code quality".
But it doesn't take any extra time to give friendly and appropriate feedback in a code review.
If someone is so fragile, that they cannot accept feedback in their code review, then they are the jerk.
Unfortunately, far too many people think having high standards is an excuse for being a jerk.
Others ... not so much.
One thing that they all had in common, though, was not suffering fools. Sometimes, they would yell and cuss, other times, they would just never work with you again.
I generally preferred the first.
I won't do it to others, because that's not my style, but I would get a dressing-down, followed by "Don't let it happen again." I'd still be in the Circle. I haven't been ejected from the game. If they just transfer me out, I'm down for the count.
I have found, that, if we want to be top of the game, then we need to work with those that are already there. We have to take the risk that we will be rejected, or told that we're not doing a good enough job. We should definitely not expect participation trophies. In fact, it's likely that we may not get a huge amount of positive feedback.
Pretty darwinian, but that which does not kill you, makes you stronger.
I feel that a lot of the lessons that I learned, also helped me to be a better leader and mentor. Some of those lessons, were on what not to do.
If someone has a challenge in awareness or their communication style is related to neurodivergence, then I think it becomes a determination of the team as far as what guardrails, training, awareness, tolerance, etc. are needed.
I know for myself (moderately ADHD), I become more of a jerk when I'm not getting the supports that I need, and I know the answer is to simply remove myself from those situations when it's a repeated occurrence. But usually there are other factors at play, such as me having become personally invested in the success of a project.
The OP defines smart jerk in a way that would rule out most people with ASD - by their definition, a "smart jerk" is aware their behavior is obnoxious and aggressive. Usually people on the spectrum are not aware of their own behavior's effects on others, and usually attempt to correct the behavior when they learn about it, so I would think this is not a very big factor. Low emotional intelligence seems a far likelier culprit, and personality disorders.
That sounds exaggerated at best. People on the spectrum might not be emotionally aware of their behaviours effect on others, but they're intellectually / logically aware of it.
> by their definition, a "smart jerk" is aware their behavior is obnoxious and aggressive.
Does intentionality change anything? Working with a "jerk" is a terrible experience whether the jerk consciously decides to be a jerk or he/she can't help it / can't tell.
Based on my own extensive experience of living on the spectrum and years of participating in support groups, I would say this is absolutely untrue or at best extremely pedantic - the end effect is the same.
Edit: given the downvote, I assume not.
Are we?
Patterns are always inherently vague. The sequence '3,5,7,_' is a clear example, but even something clear-cut, like '1,2,4,8,16,_' could end in any number; it's possible for it to be the sequence 'Joe's favorite numbers, by year', the next number being 3, as for it to be, say, powers of two.
As such, it's possible that behavior others interpret as 'jerky' is an autistic person seeing pattern A in the data where everyone else sees pattern B.[1]
>Does intentionality change anything?
One would think so. If someone is unintentionally behaving like a jerk, that can be changed in theory by informing them, kindly, of that. If someone is intentionally behaving like a jerk, good luck with that.
(Besides, if it doesn't, manslaughter and murder are indistinguishable, and one would think there is a difference between a carefully planned and calculated murder and you getting killed after a driver accidentally hits you.)
[1] This idea stolen from a paper I read, "Living With Autism: Quus-ing in a Plus-ers World". The author uploaded a preprint to Dropbox, which sadly seems to be the only copy available if you don't subscribe to the journal Res Philosophica: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/0skr5orj9l1ra4n4p85li/Living-....
That’s abuse of authority AND dunning-kruger
Isaacson also wrote the definitive biographies for Einstein and Benjamin Franklin, among many other historical figures.
Also "Masters of Doom" describes Carmack's career and idk about the word genius, but he is undeniably one of those engineers who's just 10x better than the average engineer.
Carmack was known to be very difficult to work with by his peers. Tearing down walls and putting his desk in the hallway to surveil people when they came and went at id software while working on Quake.
Steve Jobs did even more crazy shit. It seems geniuses, or brilliant successful people are very difficult to work with by those wo don't share the same vision and goals and are just looking for a chill 9-5.
If most interactions leave you feeling emotionally exhausted, dismissed, belittled, or angry, you may be dealing with toxic behavior on your team.
Or you’re that kind of person who’s hiding its stupidity behind being nice with others and doesn’t produce anything of value. You are often responsible for the feelings you have. A well-functioning, cohesive, happy team can come up with novel solutions, better implementations, and well-reviewed code.
That would deserve another myth-busting article… No team is happy and productive The fact that they are inconsiderate of others does not make them more logical.
One doesn’t always know what triggers others. It could be anything. A better solution is to strengthen yourself mentally, to be less impacted emotionally by others.I have at least two counterexamples in my personal experience.