A cafe worker: the question customers ask showing disrespect

edit: hahaha! :) half of all comments on this threads are robots. a bot fest! haha :)

in it, the author of the article uses the example of building a stair to motivate the discussion of how in practice, when rubber meets the road, things get complicated in very interesting ways

I can guarantee you will get much better service if you are nice to the staff. I would go above and beyond to fulfill any request if you are nice about it; if you are rude sorry nothing I can do for you and yes you can speak to my manager, have a good day

I've seen it a lot when backpacking around the world, certain cultures have it at/close to their core, others are the opposite.

You're implying that you're willing to be a customer at a place that is so undesirable to work at, that the only reason the staff work this job is that they are lacking alternatives and want to get away from this job as soon as possible.

Finally, if they aren't studying anything then you are basically telling them that they are stuck in a dead end job. How friendly!

I think any "… on the assumption that …" is going to cause trouble on a sufficiently large sample size, so why make the assumption?

> And most young wait staff are? Except for California, where they are aspiring actors?

How do you know? But note also that the author is specifically referring to older waitstaff ("There is an assumption in this country that wait staff above a certain age are where they are because they lack the skills or gumption to “get a proper job”")—and also that this is about the UK, whereas it sounds like you might be thinking about the US.

Is it because you can’t imagine someone wanting to be a barista?

If you're right about them being a student, it's pleasant small talk.

If you're wrong about them being a student, you may be highlighting the fact that they're in a dead end, low income career path.

The second case is sufficiently painful and likely, that it's probably a bad idea to lead with this question.

The question carries an assumption within itself, namely that your work (quality, kind of work) can't possibly sustain you.

Aimilarily if you ask staff that your assumption is that this can't possibly be a work that anybody would ever like to do voluntarily.

While Sunak sparked a debate that even reached Australia about the benefits of military service, his plan was generally viewed with the cynicism it deserved. That is, as a shallow attempt to tap into the resentment of his party’s core demographic, Boomers, by forcing Britain’s supposedly entitled youth to pull up their bootstraps and drop their smashed avo toast.

But if Boomers are really so hell-bent on punishing Gen Z, Sunak had it all wrong. Instead of serving in the army, the best method would be to force every young person to work a stint in hospitality.

For a start, working in a restaurant closely resembles a boot camp. You wake up early and wear a uniform, you’re on your feet all day, do the same exercises over and over again, sleep a few hours and rinse-repeat the next day.

Much in the way a marine can learn to assemble an M1 Carbine rifle with their eyes closed, a 21-year-old undergrad can sleepwalk their way through Sunday breakfast service without spilling a cappuccino.

I say this as someone who has served their time, in and out of bar jobs and cafe gigs for nearly eight years. It taught me a lot about people, and the lack of respect some believe you deserve when wearing an apron.

The worst part is that people don’t even realise they’re doing it. The lack of thank-yous, the mumbling into the tablecloth when ordering, their sharp impatience when you try to ensure everything was written down correctly.

I suspect restaurant and cafe customers have little idea of the profound, quiet stigma directed towards service workers. There is an assumption in this country that wait staff above a certain age are where they are because they lack the skills or gumption to “get a proper job”.

It’s an unwinnable contradiction: wait staff occupy the unskilled peripherals of the workforce, yet there is hell to pay if we fail to magic up 12 espresso martinis the moment they’re asked for.

The bloke behind the bar and the girl clearing your plates aren’t as dense as you think they are.

They’re usually juggling four tasks when you call out for more mayonnaise. They’re halfway through taking drink orders for a new table of six and refilling the water carafes for the private function in the back room when you decide, sorry yes, you would like some more side plates.

They’re memorising the seat numbers of every table, making sure the right drink ends up in the correct hand and that the gluten-free toddler gets the correct serving of sliced bread.

And yet no matter what skills hospitality workers demonstrate, customers’ prejudice remains.

Of all the jobs I’ve had – creative agencies in London, content creator for a produce supplier in San Francisco, a digital marketer in Melbourne – nobody has ever breathed a word of interest in where I went to university.

Except when I worked in hospitality.

Customers in restaurants have a fanatical interest in the level of education achieved by the people serving them. In the odd instances where I would have time to talk to a diner about something other than the day’s specials, I would always be asked what I did at school. What did I study? Did I complete a master’s degree? Good grades?

The prevailing assumption about service workers is that we’re wiping tables because we are poorly educated. I could never tell if diners were surprised or disappointed when I disclosed I had a first-class honours degree.

It felt like a reading of my character: beneath their polite smiles, the lingering question: “If he’s so smart, why is he working here?”

Long-term service workers are often those who can’t afford to study at uni full-time or undertake the unpaid internship with the investment bank. Yet, the people with those privileges are, from my experience, usually the ones showing the most disrespect towards hospitality staff.

If, as Sunak wanted, we really desire more structure and discipline in our society, there’s plenty to be found in the service industry.

Those who like to complain about the delays in getting their decaf skinny lattes during the Saturday morning rush might appreciate their arrival a lot more if they had some experience in making them for other people.

I don't even get what he's rambling about, I don't see any deep insight in this article.

> > I had a first-class honours degree

> If you want to pay for your own education then feel free to pursue any field of study you like. Why do you want me to pay for it if you're then going to wait tables? Let me guess you are working on the next big break in theoretical physics like Einstein at his patent clerk job.

You've started off by saying that you're going to be disrespectful, but let me say all the same, this is profoundly rude and disrespectful. Do you think service workers should not be paid? Unless you think that, what do you think is wrong with working service to pay for an education?

(Besides which, notice that this is written by someone who has completed their education, so, even if you are really horrified at the idea of paying for someone's studies, that's not what's happening here.)

I have been to a number of places in the post-covid era where they expect me to shell out large sums of money for little value. Just recently being in the US had me feeling this way more than elsewhere, but I can point to other examples in Europe.

Maybe that would help if the salary was enough to be self-sustaining and tips weren't necessary to make ends meet.

Also, it's a vicious circle. It's harder to be nice to staff when they're not pleasant, it's harder for staff to be pleasant when their customers are brats with copious self-entitlement and condescension towards service workers.

Empathy goes a long way here.

> 99 % of the time, it's the staff's fault

If that's your experience, I'd try looking inwards to find reasons why as well.