Time went on and it got worse and worse. Even non-academic, fun became a chore. Making music, playing games, going out; thinking about them became this litany of choices and todos I’d spiral down and I’d end up just sat there. Wasting time. But thinking how I could be enjoying myself, but unable to break myself labouring in thought of the gravity of execution needed.
I got diagnosed last year, and a year ago on Thursday, at 31, started Elvanse. I can’t for a second understate how much my life has changed for the better. Not only can I now do the boring stuff that life needs (who knew mechanical engineers did so much dull paperwork and standards), the fun stuff came back too.
I have no doubt that even if the rat race didn’t exist, if we lived in some languorous, indulgent utopia where we could do as we please every second, that I would be in bed. Miserable and crippled with option paralysis.
It’s so one dimensional and offensive to whittle ADHD down to “everyone has a lack of focus, they need to do something else”. I don’t see any difference between that statement and saying “depression doesn’t exist, just be happy”.