Looks like time for a Hackintosh. I wonder what the best platform for an E5-based hackintosh would be. Like, pretend you want more than 16GB (or 32GB maybe) of RAM, in something vaguely current, and ideally with ECC.
http://tonymacx86.com/viewtopic.php?f=169&t=55963
Looks like they had trouble getting the network functional, but everything else worked fine.
32GB of ECC ram compatible with a motherboard like that would only run you $300:
http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16820161...
Apple charges $975 for an upgrade from 6GB to 32GB. Highway robbery.