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Comment by TaylorAlexander | Hacker News Reader

I think this is a misunderstanding. People are already having a whole lot of promiscuous unprotected sex. The function of PrEP is to make that sex safer.

My friend used to volunteer at an LGBTQ support shelter. She knew gay men who had promiscuous unprotected sex 20 years ago. Some of these people had been so marginalized by society and abandoned by their families that the connection from their random sexual encounters was the only thing they had. She knew a guy that was willing to do it no matter the risks. One day he found he had contracted HIV, and not long after he committed suicide.

I’ve been to sex parties before I was on PrEP, and the arrangement is the same. Have a conversation about testing, and if everything sounds good have unprotected oral or use condoms for penetration.

The difference is that now with PrEP this feels much safer as one of the most significant STIs is no longer nearly as easily transmitted.

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> Some of these people had been so marginalized by society and abandoned by their families that the connection from their random sexual encounters was the only thing they had.

See I don't really buy that. Because I have seen what the gay community in Berlin is like. Nobody is marginalised any more, it is more than accepted. It is even celebrated.

And they still have two hookups in a random toilet or in sleazy saunas before lunch.

And of course not all gay men are like that. But male sexuality tends to be more uninhibited. Why don't female lesbians display this behaviour ?

I am against the prevailing hedonistic culture. A culture that promotes eudemonia instead, is in my opinion greatly beneficial to both the individual and the society.

But you do you.

> See I don't really buy that. This was a story about the gay community in South Florida in 2005. If you know anything about Florida, you can understand the statement that "some gay men are marginalized" is easily believable. Now today things are better, but a lot of my friends have come to Oakland fleeing dangerous places where their families kicked them out for being gay. You're talking about the scene in Berlin, but consider the scene in Oklahoma or... Florida today. Its still bad there.

> Why don't female lesbians display this behaviour?

Try undergoing a transition from a testosterone dominant system to an estrogen dominant system and you will understand. The nature of sexual urges under testosterone is very different from that of estrogen. Arousal under testosterone feels very urgent. I can control myself but imagine an abused 20 year old who never learned healthy self management. Without PrEP their urges may get them killed before they ever learn to control their impulses.

> I am against the prevailing hedonistic culture.

You can be against whatever you want. I am just explaining some facts about the benefits of PrEP for people that think differently from you.

> Try undergoing a transition from a testosterone dominant system to an estrogen dominant system and you will understand

Exactly my point. Ephemeral promiscuous sexual relationships are not due to marginalisation, but inability of what seems to be the majority of gay men to manage their sexual impulses. PrEP facilitates that, and aids in the spread of all other diseases, as in the absence of HIV the protection levels people opt for are super low.

Don't even bother. Choice comments from that user:

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39538568

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39548905

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40520483

You had to read back 4 months of my comments to assemble your ad hominem ?

How lovely. Not sad at all.

I recognized your username.

It's not just about that user, but other people who see the comments and believe that user's misrepresentation of the facts.

Which facts am I misinterpreting ?

You were the one saying that you take PrEP to feel more comfortable having sex with people you do not know so well, or in sex parties.

Your argument that gay people are so marginalised that ephemeral sexual encounters are the only form of community or socialisation they have simply does not hold with a very cursory interaction with the gay community, whether that be in person or online.

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