I don't drink any more. I quit because it was causing noticeable issues in my relationships, my career, and my mental and physical health. So before I say anything else, I want to say that I'm in no position to judge anyone else's drinking.
That said, having talked to a good amount of people about their relationships with alcohol, I think a lot of people trying to moderate would get a lot out of doing an honest risk/reward analysis of moderating. The rewards of moderating are just not that great:
- You get to drink something that tastes interesting (do you even like the taste?).
- You get a slight buzz (do you actually want a slight buzz? Or do you actually just want to get drunk?).
- You get to do the same thing as other people in a social situation (does being slightly buzzed actually make you feel more comfortable around people, or do you need to be actually drunk for that to happen?).
The risks can be horrific. I'm not going to enumerate them all, they're fairly well-known. What I will say is that even the "minor" effects, like depression, saying something awkward and hurting a relationship, or feeling hung over at work, are more than bad enough to outweigh the upsides. You don't have to kill someone drunk driving to stop drinking.
I'm not an absolutist, and I actually really disagree with the fear-of-drinking-based "abstinence only" approach of AA; I think that's helpful for some people, but I think a lot more people can just quit because they want better for themselves, without all the absolutism. I also don't believe in some sort of "alcoholic"/"not an alcoholic" dichotomy. I think it's quite possible for some people who drink too much to moderate. But if moderating is hard for you, why do something hard for questionable benefit when the risk is potentially catastrophic?