I think you are right that men don't realize how big the impact of feminism is for women, but I also think it is reasonable as feminism traditionally is about women's rights and usually put men in a position of being the problem (as is also latent in this comment: why don't men clean more, why don't men marry these women).
I am completely baffled by the talk about mental load and the expectation that women should clean. I have lived on my own for years and is more than capable of taking care of my own home. I have also been in relationships, where the woman felt this burden. However, she was not able to articulate what needed change. In consequence I have to dismiss that entire element as there is no empirics in my view - only ideas.
Which is also in line with what some of my female friends report, at least in their experience: They report that there are some, relatively closed, communities on Instagram and other SoMe where these ideas are circulated and re-enforced without being qualified in this exact instance.