@jason_shah There are worse things to be than a pain in the ass customer, so please don't think of this as an insult to your character.
That being said, I honestly didn't think all that much of the broader economic and environmental impact of my consumer behavior in this case and appreciate the comments reminding me of it. Thanks.
Amazon and most online retailers (at least the good ones) fully realize that they're going to have high return rates and account for customers doing exactly what Jason did (my wife does it regularly). This is a cost of doing business. You're competing against brick and mortar stores where people can go in and touch and see the actual product before they walk out with it. Would Amazon prefer it didn't happen? Sure, but Macy's and Barnes and Noble would prefer not to have to pay rent and hire retail employees too.
While Amazon isn't quite so blatant about that "feature", their incredibly awesome customer support, zero-hassle returns encourage this kind of behavior...effectively making it a feature.
And to be honest, it's an awesome feature.
If anyone knows this balance, its Amazon.