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Considering I haven't managed to run into malware or phishing sites on either of those providers they seem to be doing something right. Why are these so-called "evil" hosting companies less of a problem for me than namecheap, godaddy, and google?

Because their primary driven is something other than maximising profits.

maybe you haven't but they exist

Saint Kitts and Nevis is a sovereign state and part of the Commonwealth. It's primary business is tourism.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Kitts_and_Nevis

Sweet! Thanks for the links guys! :^)