There aren’t a ton of smart appliances because there aren’t a ton of smart grids. We need smart grids with, like, really significant demand based pricing before people are going to care about smart appliances. And of course there’s no reason to get smart appliances if you don’t have that kind of grid.

Somebody has to go first. In the bright side it really is unambiguous whose job it is. Utility providers are often government subsidized or at least heavily regulated government-provided monopolies. They have the responsibility to act in the public good, and provide strong enough incentives to get people to come along with them.