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Comment by electrodank | Hacker News Reader

"Our hypothesis strongly indicates that the 'pleasure index' or 'adrenaline rush' of relationships is taking more prime importance in the younger generation over long-term stability," he says. "It is alarming that impulsiveness or confusion can lead to instability in the human relation-maintaining behavior, which is actually affecting the normal social behavior in humans."

This is orthogonal from social media.

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Social media and dating apps rely on the same reward centers (new relationship energy is a dopamine hit); think of what makes a long term, healthy emotional partnership. Is that what you're getting from a dating app profile and experience until the relationship is more solid? Or is it closer to OnlyFans? Are your partnering expectations being set by social media instead of reality? Relationships are work, they are not a fairy tale, social media is everyone's highlight reel and marketing/sales effort as a person.

Dating apps gave the illusion of a better partnering path, when really we lost in person avenues to much detriment [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]. Go meet people in person if you want success in this regard, optimize for opportunity and luck to come across another human you might fit with as inexpensively as possible. Try to be emotionally healthy and available, as well as empathetic as well. You'll be head and shoulders above other potential partners.

Lots of nuance as the topics of social and dating are deeply intertwined.

[1] https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/02/key-findi...

[2] https://www.vox.com/the-goods/22442114/nancy-jo-sales-nothin...

[3] https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/oct/28/its-qui...

[4] https://time.com/6836033/gen-z-ditching-dating-apps/

[5] https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2024/04/datin...

I don't think I ever met a single woman in person. Like literally a married woman asked me out at one point (though I had to figure the married part out on my own).

That may be an anecdotal point in agreement depending on your age.

> I don't think I ever met a single woman in person.

That's almost certainly not actually true unless you have some pretty bizarre personal circumstances. If you went to school, you've met single women in person.

But I could see how you might feel that way, given the scale/anonymity, the taboos, and pervasive atomization of modern society.

Yes, it's obviously a bit tounge-in-cheek (though if you add "attractive" it might not be). That said, I am not in school now, and it would probably be a bit impractical to go back for the dating scene for a few reasons.

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