If you ever drank old-old wine, the taste is.. not what most people expect.

It's mostly a watery mix of water and some alchool with a touch of old basement smell.

And that's the best wines that had enough sugar to be fermented into alchool and not turn into vinegar.

If I understand the paper correctly, they poured wine on the ashes of the deceased. So, the taste may be a bit funny.

From the paper's analysis of the wine - it should be safe to drink, but most likely disgusting. The amount of lead or other bad things isn't particularly high if you just have a bottle.

Now, what would be the oldest enjoyable wine? The oldest that we have any record of anyone enjoying was the 1540 Steinwein, drank at age 421 in 1961 by Hugh Johnson, who took notes: "...We were able to take about two sips of the centuries-old substance, before it died of exposure to the air, gave up its spirit." [0] This is actually common in wines that are past their peak - a brief moment of life before they die forever from the air. One bottle remains but with the notes by Johnson I imagine that the wine will die before it is next tasted; it is "on loan from the Simon family from London."

With time, I expect the record for oldest enjoyable wine to be taken by either madeira (possibly from 1715) or the Rüdesheimer wine from 1653; in 2013, Edwin Vos from Christie's sampled a 1715 JCA & C Terrantez bottle and called it "remarkably youthful and surprisingly sweet." The last person to try the 1653 Rüdesheimer wine was Queen Elisabeth, I can't find her tasting notes :)

For the casual drinker, who wants to drink old wines at home, good options are madeira, port and sauternes. Even if the bottles are past their drinking window, they will still be enjoyable.

[0] https://www.buergerspital.de/wineestate/1540-steinwein/index...

It is mixed with human remains, I'll let you try it first...

I would simply drink it immediately

At least once!

The 1700-year old Speyer wine bottle is thought to be drinkable.

The level of lead in that wine will be out of the charts

We can and I actually would love to...