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Comment by mirekrusin | Hacker News Reader

Being too kind can also be negative, I prefer honesty and reality above the rest.

I too think that being too x, where x is any adjective, is a bad thing. I much prefer people being just the right amount of y, where y is any adjective.

Honesty doesn't conflict in any way with kindness, but with being "nice". Actually I think is a requirement of being genuinely kind.

Being smart also doesn't conflict with kindness - if anything, they go together.

This seems to misunderstand kind

Kindness reduces barriers to accepting the honest truth and is thus part of maximizing honesty and realism.

...now let's call person who understands it all a smart person. Now it's all clear – being smart is the best.

You could say that hiding or refraining from giving critical feedback is not kindness.

If this phrase can mean anything, it doesn't mean anything anymore.

Ie. you could also say that egoism is being kind to yourself etc.

I interpreted it to mean that lying to someone isn't actually being kind, even if that was the intention.

I see "being kind" as towards others in the context of this discussion.

If I feel I'm doing a disservice to the person by not speaking up, but still stay silent because I don't want to be confrontational or harsh, I don't think I'm being kind to the person. I'm only protecting the relation or myself, as I don't have the tools or a path to convey helpful information while making clear I'm having the person's good in mind.

I see it as a failure in communication (it usually can be blamed on both parties), and clearly not a character quality.

I can also argue that "being smart" means I recognize feelings of others, because not doing it is stupid - so that implies kindness.

This article readily conflates niceness and kindness. It would be very easy to read this and take away the understanding that critical feedback that leaves a person feeling in any way negative is not kindness.

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