Comment by KaiserPro | Hacker News Reader

Comment by KaiserPro | Hacker News Reader

So I was one of the first generation to have access to instant messaging when I was less than 11. (I'm pushing 40)

I am despite what the media says, a digital native.

that being said, I don't think kids should be on social media. By that I mean instagram/tiktok/snapchat

I have been talking to my kids (10/7) about "the internet". The normal stuff: no real names, no photos, no giving away details to anyone. They have a shared iPad, but it has time limits, and it stays in the living room.

and as an adult leader for a "uniformed organisation" for kids, one of the badges is about staying safe online. Some of the shit that I hear from them leaves me a bit worried. Roblox is a fucking nest of paedophiles. Instgram isn't a place for kids, and neither is youtube.

But, the biggest issue, apart from google and facebook not having any commercial incentive to stop kids from using their stuff: is parents not talking to their kids to find out whats happening.

Who are they talking to?

How long are they spending online?

What are they watching?

You as a parent have to be involved. You can't let your kid wander alone on the internet. You need to set barriers.

You don't need to be a helicopter, but you do need to take an interest.

You also need to have a strong fucking password to stop the kids getting round the parental controls.

> The normal stuff: no real names, no photos, no giving away details to anyone.

For the record, none of this has been "normal" for 15+ years. Sharing personal details - either publicly on social media or "privately" online is absolutely normal now.

I wish it would still be normal

Roblox or any other specific thing isn't any different than anything else in terms of risk.

Where there are humans, there are problems. Where there are humans, there is crime. Where there are humans, there are pedophiles. The physical world is the same story.

After being sexually abused repeatedly as a kid and teen, both at school and online, don't get complacent in thinking background checks mean teachers aren't pedophiles—background checks and lists only tell you who has been caught so far.

Digital grooming is nasty, but the prioritized danger is anyone physically close.

Passwords aren't stopping teenage determination and they never have, not now devices are cheap and easy to come by, and lots of peers have drawers full of unwanted yesteryear stuff. Twenty years ago, we were using proxies, hacking WiFi APs, giving people old devices and even buying each other phone credit.

I wholeheartedly agree that background checks don't survive contact with a conniving human hell bent on doing what they want. I've also never subscribed to technical solution to social problems. I perhaps should have been more clear in my post that I was aiming for social solutions rather than purely technical.

I know I can't protect either my kids, or the kids I look after for ever. I just want to give them enough of a heads up to stop the 95% attack. As in, if I've done my job well enough, they won't be sending photos of themselves[1], or giving out home addresses, or believing that the other person is someone to be feared or obeyed.

You're also spot on about passwords. As a reformed Sysadmin, who used to work in a place with airgapped networks, I will be more than a little proud when/if my kids break part of the security. (assuming its not just social engineering my partner) I'll also be worried.

One of the teachers who I looked up to at school was acquitted of sexual misconduct with someone who I knew well. One of the worries is that someone who is a family friend(other other privileged position) does something like that to one of my children. Worse still either me missing it, or most painful of all them, not feeling able to talk to anyone about it to stop it.

Please read this as me casting judgment, minimising, solutionising, disputing or dismissing what happened to you. That is very much not my intention!

[1] perhaps a forlorn hope in the longrun

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