EDIT: Thank you to everyone for your recommendations. I shall find an anon seedbox. I don't mind if it's nuked. I imagine I'll just pay per month and losing one month's spend won't hurt.
Alternatively, there's /r/seedboxes over on reddit where most vendors accept bitcoin and get you a complete setup.
https://kycnot.me/?t=service (not just hostings)
https://bitcoin-vps.com/ (an extensive list for ones that accept BTC, most accept other coins too)
There are hundreds of VPS hosters that accept crypto, but the important part is that a lot of them are not happy about abuse reports either way, so you'll probably have to use a VPN (like Mullvad) on the VPS itself to not get it suspended :)
Though it does strike me now that any such service will be primarily used by criminals.
Just think of them as "anti-state actors"
Getting a small VPS with crypto and tunneling from your home seems like a better pathway to me?
They're not a VPS in the traditional sense, but they give you a slice of a server, with a torrent client pre-installed.
Perhaps Great Depression 2.0 will set our priorities straight.
I'm a happy VPN customer, they've been excellent.