Total aside, but
> My wife likes to quote the advice “never go to bed with an argument unsettled”
I've never found that to be true. Sleep it off, cooler heads will prevail tomorrow.
> My wife likes to quote the advice “never go to bed with an argument unsettled”
I've never found that to be true. Sleep it off, cooler heads will prevail tomorrow.
A new day brings new responsibilities, and excuses to avoid returning to the topic. It's an easy way to let resentment build up, especially if you're each carrying on the argument in your heads with a fictional version of your partner.
You can't simply resolve all kinds of arguments and disagreements before going to bed. Sure, if you have a minor disagreements you might be able to make amends but other issues will take time to be processed and discussed at a more opportune time.
More to it, one might be tempted to quickly attempt to solve the issue with this line of thinking but failing to address the root cause, thus ending up even causing more damage later on as recurring disagreements appear.
Emotions aren't binary.
But I think the real meat of the saying isn’t really about going to bed angry or whatever. It’s about trying to resolve the issue (going to bed is just a forcing function). If you’re a couple who can’t amenably resolve issues, you’re not going to last very long.
But not everyone is so confident in the partner to assume they see themselves as an equal in partnership.
Sleeping on either quarrels or arguments could be good.
My aside is that I haven't found the advice to apply well to quarrels either.
My experience was neither was impacted by any different resolution strategy. Also - with 5 kids, getting sleep was always the point.