A very large proportion of private aviation accidents involve only the people in the aircraft.
This wasn't sarcastic at all—any driver of a car is far more dangerous than one in a plane. 9/11 is essentially meaningless in the shadow of auto deaths (to provide a direct comparison). I can't get a firm number on number of plane fatalities in the US (or auto fatalities worldwide), but 9/11 alone would amount to about only 0.04% of total vehicle fatalities in the US since 2000.
if i live to be 90, i'd wish to die quietly in my sleep like my grandpa.
Both scenarios are unlikely. Most likely it will be a long time of being tortured by doctors trying everything in the book to squeeze a few more days of money from your insurance.
Roads concentrate traffic near other people. A vehicle running off the road is much more likely to hit something than a plane falling out of the sky.