The free Itsycal[0] can display whichever date pattern you prefer. It’s what I’ve been using for several years now.

[0]: https://www.mowglii.com/itsycal/

This used to be straightforward if you found your way into the internationalization formats and modified the right ones.

It's no longer straightforward, see:

https://apple.stackexchange.com/questions/463901/customising...

Which in turn points to:

https://discussions.apple.com/thread/254316210?sortBy=best

I think Dato can do this: https://sindresorhus.com/dato