Show HN: I built a directory about big life decisions/regrets

I saw a sign recently that just read “success is very similar to failure” and I absolutely agree.

The difference in your life and happiness between getting what you want and not is often much smaller than you expect.

For example, I once quit my salaried job to work as a contractor for a start-up, making up the money shortfall with other contract work. I regretted it quite quickly because my calculations on making up that money were off the mark, and my wife started to get pissed off about it. But it led through an interesting experience and cumulated in finding a job that has been so good to me and has paid so much more. So I think it was the best path I could have taken, and I shouldn't regret it at all, it has changed our family life. However, I still have regret because my wife doesn't see the causal relationship between my mistake and 9 months later having that opportunity, so it was a source of tension between us for much longer.

I could write similar stories about many things, like going to uni, having kids, moving country. The experience, the aftermath, and the effects much further down the line.

A question others often ask me when I'm struggling with a decision is "will you regret it?"

And that simple paradigm can make the answer clear.

But sometimes, I'm not sure. Sometimes, it seems like the options are equivalent – 6 one, half a dozen the other.

That got me curious about what other decisions people have made and whether they regret those decisions and why.

So, I made Did You Regret It – a directory of big life decisions and whether people regretted them, including their reasoning.

It might not actually help you make a huge life decision, but it's interesting to hear other people's stories in little bite-sized pieces.

"I decided NOT to invest in the stock market", etc.

One takes a decision considering:

1. the best information available,

2. the sum total of your fears and complexes.

3. sometimes picking a choice without a clear cut set of criteria to make an informed decision.

Years later, what's the point regretting it? It means that you are now perhaps a different person, maybe more secure. Maybe you have information now that wasn't available to you then. Maybe you have grown to be the kind of person that can now make sense of the information that was given then. If the conditions were replicated (including your internal state), you'd likely make the same decisions.

You should of course reflect on it to learn and grow, and in particular, make amends if you wronged someone. But there is little point in dwelling on the past and saying, "if only ..."

Instead of discussing regrets, just talk about the things you think more about now that you’ve committed to a choice.

For example, I don’t regret owning a home. But I now think a lot about how an open concept main floor seemed like a great idea, but without walls I don’t have many places to store my furniture.