The problem isn't really the hardware. I actually do have a Mac mini that I use for testing. (And I still have a couple of older MacBook Pros, though they can't run the latest macOS versions.) The problem is my software setup. Like I said in the blog post, I've got everything on the MacBook Pro. To get everything I need in working order onto a secondary Mac, and then "sync" all changes in various software back to my main machine after a period without it, would be a major pain in the butt. And that's never been an issue before, because like I said, this is the first time in decades of computer ownership that I haven't been able to arrange same-day service. Even overnight service would be ok, but mail-in is out of the question.
And keep in mind, my laptop batteries have generally lasted over three years, and I might be able to postpone this battery replacement for another year. As a lone indie dev, I don't make a huge amount of money, and it would be ridiculous to have a clone of a $3000 computer in a closet for a once-in-three-year occurence. That specific time vs. money tradeoff doesn't make much financial sense.
Rest assured, though, I'm not "one dropped cup of coffee away from not being in business anymore", as one silly reply suggested.