Working with GraphQL over 6 years, I have seen (and created) many mistakes mentioned in the article. GraphQL is not great but it has worked well for me, you just need to adapt & change mindset to create better interface for your graphQL endpoint.
For example, having nested queries more than 2 levels is a no go for me (just like having nested inheritance is basically anti pattern)
Focus more on your interface. One way to avoid N+1 and nested query is to required parameter for related fields. For example
```
user(id: $userId) { {
id
friends {
id
...
}
to
```
user(id: $userId) {
id
friends(id: $userId) {
id
...
}