Django (python) does lazy loading by default, cartesian product with "select_related()", and has a third option called "prefetch_related()" where it does only 2 queries then does the join programmatically for you instead of in the database. It's kind of like your custom system except you do have to specify ahead of time which fields to prefetch.
It's also had this for over a decade so I have to wonder how rare it actually is in ORMs in general...