They are not everywhere though. They are not on the greater Internet. They are not on residential networks. I have access to the full 65535 TCP ports everywhere in the world on my average Internet connection.
These middleboxes you speak of are appliances paid for and placed inside of corporate LANs. They can pay to put more modern ones, or just getting rid of them.
The point is that these middleware appliances we often use as a scapegoat exist only in well-controlled private networks. Why should we care about them?