tl;dr
The facts you learn at school are surprisingly ill remembered. But stuff learned by cultural osmosis is remembered very well. So why go to school?
The facts you learn at school are surprisingly ill remembered. But stuff learned by cultural osmosis is remembered very well. So why go to school?
But you also learn to write, express yourself, solve problems, use facts that you currently know to some purpose, encounter ideas and subjects you would not have otherwise, socialise, etc.
I do agree that the emphasis people place on facts is misguided. It just happens to be easier to test facts, so a lot of schooling is oriented around them.
My son just complained that he did a maths problem, got the correct answer using a simpler method than the one the teacher was looking for, and got zero points, because he didn't use the approved method. In my world, he exhibited great thinking. In school world he didn't do what makes it easy for them to give him a mark.
Recently, I did the same test as my daughter did, who is now in high school. It was a bet kind of thing. So anyway, after doing the exam, I figured I'd have 9 out of 10 marks. I though t I'd lose some marks for some clumsy arithmetic, but it went pretty well (I thought).
So my daughter then grades my test and carefully explains that maybe I might just have a passing grade (6 out of 10). Ok. whatever. That can't be right. So she takes my test to the teacher to have her grade it as well. The teacher's verdict: clearly, easily, a failing grade. Maybe 4 out of 10 marks.
Turns out getting the right answer in a clever way counts for nothing. What you are being tested on is: can you reproduce the algorithm we are teaching you in school. As I solved most of the problems in a different manner, I consequently got almost none of the marks. I suppose, that if you know and accept this, then you can accept the result as well.
It's disappointing I guess, but certainly it makes math more accessible. I suppose there are pros and cons.
Your son wasn't tested on cleverly getting the right answer. The test was: can you reproduce this algorithm. He couldn't.
He has other ridiculous examples, e.g. a question that asked what reason might explain why people were smoking less. He gave a perfectly good answer (better awareness of the risks), it just wasn't the "approved" fact they were looking for.
It was somewhat like this when I was at school, but it's much worse now. No thought, even correct answers with working not accepted. Sometimes you just have to guess what the approved fact you are supposed to regurgitate is.
For instance, my daughter (kindergarten) has been learning how to do addition and subtraction by "finding tens" and also with fives, and also / relatedly by thinking about hops on a number line, and combining them in different ways. And if she gets the right answer, but without using the technique being taught at that time, then she is redirected back to the intended technique. And I think that makes sense, when teaching a particular technique!
I often hear people complain about this style of answering arithmetic questions - "what's wrong with adding up columns and carrying tens?" - and I think they should learn that algorithm too, but I think it's valuable to learn multiple techniques, the techniques themselves that is, in addition to just being able to get the right answers in whatever way you choose.
Homeschooled kids can get high school diplomas in most states (all three of my kids did), and get into college (two of my kids decided to go to university, and had no problems get admitted). In the group of ~30 secular homeschooling families I belonged to when I had school-age kids, many of the kids went on to college, got jobs, and turned out just as functional (if not more successful) than kids who went to public schools.
This is actually extremely valuable as a life experience, and not gaining it as a child represents a major loss
Indeed: if you don't get this life experience, you don't learn to cultivate a fervent hate towards other humans. :-( Whether this is a desirable trait for you children to get is up to you to decide ...
Everyone will have to participate in arbitrarily composed groups of people throughout life. Is it more or less likely for that experience to be one of hatred if exposed to it earlier or only later?
Rather: is it better if you are exposed to this in a jail-like situation or not?
You can guess my answer.
Homeschoolers divide fairly neatly into families who keep their kids out of school for religious reasons, and families who choose to homeschool for other reasons, usually referred to as secular homeschoolers. Those groups can mix and do activities together, or they can stay partly or completely separate. I think that's what you allude to, but I'm not sure. We did not homeschool for religious reasons. Some of our friends did, and a larger number of homeschoolers we knew about chose not to associate with the secular families. But plenty of people homeschool for reasons other than religion or wanting to isolate their children from society, it's easy to find them.
Homeschooled kids have different social experiences, of course, but I don't think those are worse or less rich or varied. Without the constraints of school, kids have more time to socialize with other kids and with adults. They can do "real world" things with their parents. I suppose you have to get to know some homeschooling families to see for yourself.
Plenty of kids in school experience severe loneliness and isolation, and spend too much time on social media getting depressed. It's practically an epidemic, leading to mental health problems and suicide. I won't say that school causes those problems, but I think it's fair to say that sending your kids to school will not necessarily give them a rich and healthy social life.
I do know homeschooling families, of the secular socialization-friendly kind you did / are doing, and I think it's just empirically the case that it is not as easy for them to find things to do with other kids, during school days, as it is for the much larger number of kids I know who are in schools.
That doesn't mean it's bad (or that it's good) to have fewer opportunities to do things with other kids during school days, just that "most kids are in school during school days" is a real constraint on the ability to do things with other kids at those times.
But getting out of pure observation and into my own ... uncertainties, this is a significant reason I'm personally hesitant to homeschool, at least if I were to be the parent actively doing it.
Frankly, even with the school day and all the many structured activities with other kids that she's doing, the older my daughter gets (and she's only 6), the more I feel like she spends a lot of time with us boring old fogies, when she would be happier running around and playing make believe and stuff with other kids. I'm sure a big part of that is a personal problem, that we have boring un-kid-like personalities, and not nearly enough imagination and spark of creativity. But like, I am who I am! I like books and chess and computers and charts and numbers and stuff. I love being with my kids, but it would be a massive self-deception to think spending all day with me is going to be awesome for them.
So then, I start thinking about: What would we do? Where could we go, what adventures could we go on, who could we go on them with? And I just come up pretty blank. There are only so many museums and parks and stuff. Best case scenario seems to me that I would find a community of people trying to figure out the same thing, and we could do things together. Maybe I just don't know about them! But I spend a pretty sizable amount of time in all the public spaces in my area, often during school days (because kids are sick and have to stay home a lot), and my distinct impression is that there's nobody around.
Maybe they're all getting together, just in peoples' private homes. But I know the families with kids in my neighborhood and the ones surrounding it, and they're all in school, so if this is a thing, I don't think it's nearby.
Note that I'm saying these are all personal concerns, and they are about me, not about the kids. I don't think the standard school model is at all close to my idyll of what my kids would do with their days, but I think it's a bit closer to that than me trying to figure out stuff to do all day and driving all around trying to find engaging activities during the day, maybe with some other kids sometimes. I'm sure this looks totally different to other people with different personalities in different places.
Homeschooling doesn't mean locking your kids in the house, unless that's the reason you homeschool (and some parents do, usually for religious reasons). Our kids went to sports activities, all kinds of classes, music lessons, activities, group trips to the park, etc. Depending on where you live you will find groups of other homeschooling parents. In some states homeschooled kids can participate in at least some school activities, such as sports. For older children community colleges and universities may have programs. There's plenty to do, and many ways for kids to make friends.
If you live in a rural or remote place that will be harder, of course, but that would affect your kids regardless. We moved to a place (suburban Portland) where we would have neighbors with kids, in a state that has liberal laws regarding homeschooling. People move for jobs and careers all the time, why not move to raise kids in a better environment?
They grow up. Hormones change, brains develop, lessons are learned, wisdom is gained. The primary reason workplaces tend to be better than high schools is that they are not full of teenagers.
No one needs to learn Latin grammar to get into university today, or to succeed in a professional career -- strange example to pick. The bar is actually quite low, have a look at the state exams for granting a high school diploma. We unschooled our kids (no curriculum) and just taught the basics -- reading, writing, arithmetic -- then let them choose what interested them and made those things available. They all passed the state diploma requirements exam on the first try, and scored in the higher percentiles.
Homeschooling doesn't mean re-creating the classroom environment and following the school curriculum at home. And it doesn't doom your kids to low-end careers.
Let me guess how you were successful:
You had at least one adult not working but present (I saw that with parents, but also an uncle and a greatfather once).
- You probably lived near activities, in an urban or suburbian area, with OK to great public transportation (forgot you could drive as early as 16 in the US, maybe I'm wrong about the public transportation, but it help).
- you probably had a support network (non profit with other parents who homeschool their kids).
All this is practically mandatory for successful homeschooling.
Then stuff that help: access to the official curriculum, independant home, curious parents (all this non mandatory)
Also, when comparing success with homeschooling VS public school, you have to compare socioeconomic class and home stability. In country like France or the US with terrible public school system, I guess homeschooling 'the right way' should be a bit more successfull, I doubt this is the case in northern Europe or in countries with good to great public schools.
We did not follow the official curriculum, just made ourselves aware of the requirements for obtaining a high school diploma should our kids want to do that (they did, all got it easily). We more or less "unschooled," which means no rigid curriculum, no trying to re-create the classroom at home, and letting kids choose how to spend their time, within limits (we didn't allow much TV and video games and social media weren't much of a thing back then). Our technique, if you can call it that, was based a lot on Montessori, which I recommend to parents who can afford that but can't manage homeschooling, or don't feel like they can competently do it.
I know not everyone can homeschool their kids, for practical or personal reasons. I don't suggest everyone do it, or that kids who go to school are necessarily getting damaged or harmed (though that does happen). Ask any teacher, the number one predictor of academic success is parental involvement. Whether that takes the form of homeschooling, or just paying attention and spending time with your kids, that time makes a huge difference in the long term. I don't mean going to school board meetings and screaming about snack machines or sex education classes, I mean spending actual time with your kids so they feel valued and part of the family rather than an inconvenience.