less anxious / depressed kids get to do more sports in the first place. kids without "the right attitude" or a lack of innate ability are routinely excluded from sports, as im sure many of us here have experienced.
Some of my children are naturally good at soccer and some aren't. Doesn't matter. I don't play favorites with them or any other kids on my soccer team.
I started coaching soccer for my kids, because one of my more naturally-gifted children had a horrible coach. Even though she played my kid more, I hated her favoritism and I hated her lack of sportsmanship.
That's it -- I started coaching.
My team is probably never going to win the league, because the best players _still_ get sub'd out on my teams. I don't care.
Be the change you wish to see.
in our town we've met some coaches like you and a lot of others who are not like you. sports are still 90% a popularity contest in my current observation (read my comment later in this thread)
As a result, I picked up sports I could do on my own, such as lifting weights, biking, swimming, and running. Individual sports such as golf and tennis followed naturally.
I would have otherwise been a complete shut-in. Although I do have a lack of executive function, I make sure to get exercise as often as I can. Classes at the local gym are a godsend - I don't need to prep, plan ahead, or anything. I just need to show up at the right time and the thinking has been done for me.
I'm thankful I got the opportunity to do all the physical activities I did. Helped that my siblings were all big athletes and most kids in my neighborhood were too.
Kids today don't have that, and I feel for them.
I suspect many kids are so disheartened by these early experiences that they are much less likely to make the transition as you did. Personally, it took many years of adulthood before I figured out that physical activity was actually super beneficial and not just the games that bullies play. By high school, I refused to participate in PE and just took Fs.
Maybe schools should start kids out with individual activities instead of team sports?
good for you but yes, you had people in your family who were athletes and apparently did not dissuade you further. lots of kids are not really that lucky.
But you may be right because I have experienced this while watching the other kids in my son's sports classes.
My son started going to a gym called "Kidstrong" when he was 3.5 years old. It was basically a bunch of kids following instructions and performing basic calisthenic exercises and beginner gymnastics moves.
However, we had to stop going because there was a kid in the class who simply couldn't get his act together. Maybe he was special needs or maybe that's just the way he was allowed to behave at home. But the coaches spent so much time trying to get that one kid to follow basic instructions that it ended up detracting from the time that my child and the other kids got with the coaches. It came to the point where my wife and I (along with a number of other parents) realized that we were paying $25 per 45 minute session for our children to sit and watch the coaches spend 20 minutes trying to corral this one kid who couldn't behave.
So we put my son into BJJ instead. And we're experiencing something very similar. There are two other kids in his class that simply can't follow instructions or chose not too. Fortunately this is a locally owned gym so we spoke to the owner about our concerns and he spoke to the kids' parents. The kids have been behaving better lately, but they still serve as a huge distraction.
You're projecting. Most coaches just want kids to work hard and have fun. They really couldn't care less about winning. If you need absolute proof, there are many sports such as swimming and track where every additional kid adds points to your team total such that having more kids is always more advantageous to the coach(es).
Track is not a good example, at least in my case. Our coaches spent ZERO time with those of us who weren't obviously going to be breaking any records, and whenever we lost a match, made us do so much extra work it was almost impossible to climb stairs the next day. I couldn't get any support from any of them, which I still consider highly unfair, since if I had support maybe I could have figured out a method to improve, but on my own... I just quit.
From my experience in multiple sports, most coaches just want to win. Finding one who cares more about the kids than the score is an absolute blessing, they're so rare.
so no I'm not projecting. Kids who don't "look/act right" are ignored and discarded by sports and in my direct experience as a parent this has hardly changed at all.