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Comment by ggambetta | Hacker News Reader

This is fascinating. I was born and raised in Uruguay and I don't think food was ever a thing in funerals. You just hang out in a room and are generally sad, but food is nowhere to be seen. I've only seen food in funerals in the movies! I wonder whether this is by country, by religion (and variant of that religion), or what.

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I live in the US but my family is in/from Spain. When my mom was visiting, we had to attend a funeral (for my wife's grandpa), and after the ceremony everyone went to a local restaurant and had a small feast. My mom was appalled, because she thought it was disrespectful. But I think it's a sweet thing to do, remembering the deceased in a pleasant setting. Especially if the death was of old age.

I hope when I go, my friends and family have a good time together.

Awhile back someone mentioned they had all the important people in their lives together for the wedding, and most likely the next time it'd happen was their funeral.

It made me think about community and priorities. Obviously not everyone needs to get together from all the distinct friend groups, but more gatherings of people who are important to you sounds like something I need to generally strive for.

The title makes it sound somewhat more specific than it is - it is also about food at funeral and mourning related events rather than just funerals - so it includes things like wakes, 'funeral receptions' and various other forms of remembrance.

Edit: although that does make me wonder if the idea of strictly-at-the-actual-funeral funeral food has been sufficiently explored. e.g. dancing pallbearers with coffin but the top of the coffin is also a sushi boat and/or salad bar.

Agree. I also think dancing on grave need to really brought to 21st century. Removing some negative connotation people had in past. It can really about local good, artisanal drinks and of course dance is in the name.

> You just hang out in a room and are generally sad

Without the party afterward? Most of the funerals I've been to here in the Eastern US involve feeling sad during the service and/or burial, and then a reception afterward where the mood lightens and you have a good time celebrating the person.

Same here, it's a time for re-connecting with family and friends. We reminisce about the deceased, and we're connected by those stories. Some of the foods are generational, baked by great-great-aunts, or even a particular store-bought bakery good (Market Basket Donuts). No one would ever eat these on a regular day, but somehow, the platter disappears during the afterparty.

Where I live, Oklahoma, after the church funeral service, everyone eventually ends up in the "fellowship hall", which is a large room with a kitchen and a lot of tables. If the deceased attended the church, a church committee would bring in food to feed the family and all who went to the service. Family relatives would also bring food. (This is where the most interesting dishes came from, usually family favorites.)

Usually, but not always, only the family would go to the graveside for a short service and prayer.

This is exactly what my sister's Oklahoma church did for us and the whole community when she passed away! It was a lovely gesture, especially to see how many people loved her. My mom makes famous chocolate chip cookies, and they even asked for the recipe so they could do their best to make the cookies knowing my mom wouldn't have the bandwidth to do it.

I love Oklahoma. Wholesome, hardworking people in a beautiful state. My favorite drive is through Sand Springs to Cleveland and Skiatook. You wind through Keystone Lake and the Arkansas River. So peaceful and pretty.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koliva

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memorial_service_in_the_Easter...

German even has a (very old-fashioned) word for it: Leichenschmaus = the "banquet" you hold in honor of the deceased.

Where I live (New York) it was until recently illegal to have food in a funeral home. There are alot of weird rules around death and funerals, as I think we're all a little weird about how we approach these matters.

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