Here are two more for you.
Sartre is sitting at a cafe and orders coffee with no cream. The waiter says, "I'm sorry, Monsieur Sartre, we are all out of cream -- how about with no milk?"
man goes to bertrand russell. says he hates his beard but will not shave it. russell says "treatment is simple. great barber pagliacci is in town. he will shave all men (and only those men) who will not shave themselves." man bursts into tears. "but bertrand,"