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I had no idea there were switches you could run NixOS on. What would be an example of such a switch?

That's what the blog post is about. Mellanox Spectrum switches can run any Linux distro.

For 10gbit+: Mellanox SN2xxx. Probably the SN3xxx, SN4xxx, and SN5xxx too but I can't afford those.

For 1gbit: Ubiquiti Edgerouter ER-4 and ER-6; both have SFP cages for fiber optic transcievers https://github.com/NixOS/nixpkgs/pull/194153 https://store.ui.com/us/en/products/er-4

Really useful, thanks a bunch!