Absolutely don't tolerate abuse and set out your stall early on but I don't think the response is to fire the first volley, but to shutdown an abuser quickly.
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" is an old saying but very true and often forgotten. As a maintainer or moderator, swift action which shuts down antisocial behaviour is more important than engaging. Perhaps you didn't really mean to say "abuse the crap out of abusers", but the correct response isn't abuse, it's a simple denial of engagement.
The other side of this is arrogant maintainers who have no interest in engaging with their audience and who don't accept criticism/comment. If you put it out there then you are asking for comment, if you just want to maintain your own code of your own purposes, then either don't make it open source or at least turn off issue tracking.