Cloud anything will cost you more in the long run.
Why not buy a cheap used Intel Mac and be done with it?
For example, looks like you can pick up one here for not too much over $200.
https://www.macofalltrades.com/apple-laptops/
Alternatively, don’t buy into the “need” to be Blue. I love iMessage myself, and don’t use anything else (other than Teams for work). However I’ll refuse point blank to use Snap or Facebook messenger. I lose out on some communications but I live with it.
Same with Signal - since I can’t apparently use it without giving it access to my Contact list, it’s another system that’s not used by me.