Reality called and told me to welcome you to come back to it.
But through multi-sig, time-locked contracts, multiple wallets, bitcoin is more difficult than most.
There you go, was that so hard?
Bitcoin isn’t some magical panacea, the reality is it’s as easily stolen/taken/lost in 99% of cases as anything else.
Sure, there might be some ultra tiny percentage of folks who are truly secure with it, but there is virtually the _same_ number who are ultra secure with other non-bitcoin stored value systems.