Does maximizing options maximize empowerment? I've found I feel much more empowered in a situation where I've already deeply committed to some specific thing than when I have dozens of options but haven't chosen one. Intentionally closing the door on thousands of options is actually the only path I've found that's made it possible for me to grow at all. If I maximize options, I can just escape when faced with a growth opportunity, not actually have to grow through it.

I remember sitting up late one night in my twenties overwhelmed by the sheer number of doors I would never open. Not metaphorical doors--actual, physical doors to physical buildings and rooms. It had hit me earlier that day that the number of doors I would even encounter in my life is infinitesimal compared to the total number of doors, and the ones I would open of that tiny subset were orders of magnitude smaller still.

I suppose I could have responded to this by making some strange life rule where I always try the handle on every door, but I think I grew a lot more by deciding it doesn't matter, that opening all the doors, or even maximizing my chances to open doors, would be a waste of my life. So I guess they doubled as metaphorical doors after all.

I don't know how measurable it would be, but I would rather measure my personal growth by the peace I've managed to find with the realities I can't change and the choices I've made. For instance, I'm not infinite. I'm going to die. There will be things I dislike about the world that won't change during my lifetime. Stuff like that. That seems like a better measure to me of how much I'm growing.