David, that was a very eloquent and well-written post and I certainly hope that you came away from writing that with a better sense of well-being.

I, too, am deaf, but our experiences are different. I was born deaf and am profoundly deaf with 85+ db loss in both ears. At the risk of sounding conceited, I'm what you would consider a success story.

A background:

As a child, I lived in San Diego, and my parents (at the advice of my speech therapist) enrolled me in a deaf school in Los Angeles that specialized in mainstreaming deaf students. I went there for 3 years and then joined a normal school in San Diego in 2nd grade wearing hearing aids.

At some point in time, I developed an ability to lip read and was able to speak without difficulty. This enabled me to have normal conversations with my hearing peers, and I was able to socialize.

So, trying to keep this short, I went through high school, went to college, received a cochlear implant (about 6 years ago), graduated from college with a degree in design, and I've actually worked with a number of companies in teams. I also met my wife (who is hearing) in college, and we've been together 10 years and married for almost 4.

I'm currently in my third week working as a lead designer for a YC startup in San Francisco, and it's a 6-member team. Great people, and there have been no issues as far as communication, and the team members here are very willing to accommodate any challenges I may have.

With that said, because lip reading requires me to intently watch people, I share your frustrations when it comes to conversations in an open office environment and in group conversations, but I found that one of the best ways to try to control that is to engage in conversation rather than be the 'fly on the wall'. I greatly rely on context when I lip read, so it's important to know what the context of the discussion is. It's actually much harder to lip read someone when you don't know what the context is.

Now, I have to say something - you said you use Cued Speech, and you sign. I believe that if you continued to do so, it would only frustrate you further. Furthermore, I'm surprised that you didn't make use of your speech therapy benefit, as that's probably the best way for you to overcome the difficulties you have. Learn how to lip read too - it's a fun party trick. :) Also, try to engage in normal conversations with your co-workers, no matter how challenging it might be. Practice is important. They will respect you for it. I completely understand the challenges of having a handicap and the challenges behind getting accommodation for your handicap, but I find that the best strategy is to ignore your handicap, overcome it, and come up with ways to accommodate yourself, not others.

If OP is David, you can contact me here on HN.