No flaming intended. It’s pretty much just a joke about the existential dread that I (and presumably the GP) have built up over a lifetime. I presume it’s why we craft happy stories for children who we’ve deemed too young to learn about harsh realities. Alternatively, people find a lot of comfort in religion, but it’s not something that’s ever worked for me. So I like to joke about it.

incapable of believing is different from refusing or being unwilling to believe.

even some of those who do believe in god sometimes have doubts, and here is someone who (i imagine) thinks that it would be nice if there was a god, but they just can't see how it could possibly be true, given many things they see in contradiction.

so no, wanting something to be true, but not being able to believe it to be true are not at odds at all.

in this context you may also consider pascal's wager.

the key is to keep searching for the truth, and to investigate the claims that various religions make until you find one that does work for you.

I thought it made sense. Religion is the salve that I wish would work for me.

Did you feel a visceral reaction when you saw the word religion? Maybe you should do some introspection.