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Comment by firewolf34 | Hacker News Reader

> My theory is that to meet a new person and have it be substantial, you basically need to spend a few hours, a few times per week, in the same space doing some arbitrarily interesting thing for a common reason, without being too eager but with a signaled sense of openness.

I like this concept, and I feel like I've experienced this as well, but I'm having trouble picturing an example of what you're describing, practically speaking, for the average city-dweller. Care to elaborate on this?

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This the much discussed “third place” that has all but disappeared in much of western life. See _Bowling Alone_ for a very early (pre social media) analysis of this idea.

A third place could be a coffee shop, a bar, a church, a softball league, a book store, or even just a nice park. By and large people don’t go to these places nearly as much anymore, except to consume and leave. And if they do go there they are on their phones until they finish their transaction and leave.

> This the much discussed “third place” that has all but disappeared in much of western life.

American life if anything really.

Southern Europeans especially are an extreme example of how it is to essentially live outside.

I kinda met a gal in a class I was taking at a community center. Couldn't tell if she's into me or just nice; didn't push it. Maybe I'll see her in another class in the future, but I'm there to learn.

Why is this downvoted? It answers the GP. It seems reasonable to me. Taking classes at the community center sounds like a good way to meet people.

Made no sense to downvote him, it's actually relevant to the discussion.

Her, but alright.

Sorry. I'm gay, I get it :)

That's... what she said?

No; if she had, I'd have been more forward. :)

Lots of opportunities for friendship in something like jiu jitsu. It's not for everyone, but it's interesting because it is a physically close sport, you get used to basically hugging everyone for a sport, it's both physically and intellectually hard to learn, and there's a common language around it. Easy to identify people at your skill level and meetup for open mats, share videos of techniques, etc.

There's a million examples of this out there, regardless of what you find interesting. Art, music, sport, working out, adventure, travel, computers, flying, whatever.

I find it baffling people keep talking about disappearing third spaces. There's so much opportunity to do interesting things with interesting people!

Paid classes of X never have been or ever will be third places. Because you have to pay a determinate amount to participate. One of the requisites for a place to be a _third_ place is you aren't obligated to spend money (or not a significant amount of it) to stay an amount of time where you can chat and make friends casually. That doesn't mean you can't make friends here but when we talk about third places we mean something else.

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