I remember a WAMU radio show talking about a woman who was abused by her father.
She wrote the 5 steps of forgiveness which as I more or less recall go something like this:
The 5 steps of asking for forgiveness.
The offender to the offended should:
1. Describe in detail exactly what he/she/they did that cause the offense. 2. Describe in detail how those actions made the offended feel. 3. Explain in detail why he/she/they took such actions. 4. Describe in detail what corrective actions he/she/they should take. 5. Describe in detail what the offended could do to move forward.
Now the interesting part is that the woman's father was already dead when she wrote the steps. She wrote a letter using the 5 steps as if she was her father, who denied to his death that the abuse ever happened, asking for forgiveness.
It helped her.
I wished I could remember the name of the book or the radio show but it was years ago.