Have you ever resigned because of your own poor performance?
We made a bad hire that tanked morale . We had tremendous momentum as a team and this person came in and sucked all the energy out of the room. In short, they clearly lied about their experience, routinely messed stuff up in prod and dumped it on us, and were overall unpleasant to work with. The situation became completely untenable so I raised concerns to management. The person was let go after almost two years of doing absolutely nothing and actively screwing the rest of us over.
Morale improved immediately after that, but the entire ordeal left me winded. I’ve since not been able to find my footing. I’ve missed important deadlines and can’t complete work like I used to. I’ve lost all the goodwill I worked so hard to foster. Everything I’ve sweat and bled for is imploding. It’s my fault and I don’t know what to do about it.
Which brings me to the title question. I have genuine affection and love for this small team of people, we’ve been in the trenches together fighting for life, bonding us as a unit, and I’m letting them down. The guilt is overwhelming and even though I’ve talked about it with my boss, whom was very understanding and supportive, I can’t shake this feeling that I’m dead weight and am bringing everybody else down just being there.
It is extremely painful, frustrating and I don’t see it getting any better. The job market is bad and my confidence is shot. I’m torn between the obligation to my employer and team and the obligation to my family.
My inclination is to resign immediately with notice because I believe it’s the only honorable course, and to preserve what’s left of my reputation with people I truly loved working with. Is that insane in this day and age? Anybody ever do an “honor-resignation”? Or if you were in a similar boat and didn’t resign, how’d you fix it?