US cities are remarkably different than European cities. I personally consider the likes of Seattle, SF or San Jose a grade A shithole. NY felt a bit better, but I can see why people consider it dehumanizing if you live in Manhattan.

If you have never been abroad, I'd recommend you take a long trip to a European city and try to live like a local. If possible I'd avoid the world class metropolis that might feel a bit less homely, and target for smaller cities instead. My aim is not to change your mind about suburbs and cities, instead the experience might expand your mind and help you see why people love the lifestyle.