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I make apps call home and aggregate incoming pings in grafana, because some of them are behind a vpn.

We have Incoming Request monitor for this. OR you can deploy custom probes in your private network. https://oneuptime.com/docs/probe/custom-probe

Funny story. One customer insisted on not whitelisting anymore sites, so I had to send the pings to slack, and monitor slack to update grafana.

There is no "the solution" to site monitoring. Eventually someone will need scripting to bridge a gap. Preferably python.