Why do people want anonymous functions so much?

Because in many cases a function is tightly associated with a particular context, and making it a separate named function is actually harmful for understanding.

personally, in python, I refuse to use lambda functions on ethical grounds

Do you really find this:

  def get_name(x):
    return x.name

  sorted_by_name = sorted(people, key=get_name)

more readable than:

  sorted_by_name = sorted(people, key=lambda x: x.name)