I generally agree, but:

>99.99% of the time a DoS is someone who is bored. Talking to them tends to work.

This is an overstatement. A great number are extortionists or state sponsored attackers. They're not interested in chit chat, except if it's to negotiate a price to stop the flood. Particularly not the ones commanding resources which are sufficient enough to make a dent in the operations of a substantial commercial entity.