Hacker News Reader

Comment by ok_dad | Hacker News Reader

When I was a kid just a few decades ago there were several things within my available area like arcades, mini golf, a small hill to play on, etc. today in that same area there is zero kids friendly entertainment except a theater that’s too expensive and the small hill was closed to the public by the HOA for legal reasons. Where are the kids supposed to go? It’s not an imaginary thing happening, 3rd spaces are drying up for kids and adults alike.

View on HN

where do you live that there are no parks in your suburb? mine is chock full of them, there's a park every couple blocks. why has your HOA closed a hill, and have you gone to meetings to advocate for reopening it?

I don’t live there anymore.

What? Literally anywhere outside - are you saying most kids back then hung out at arcades and minigolf regularly in their free time? We couldn't afford that. I remember playing at the hill you're talking about - or a park - or just throwing a ball against a wall with friends when I was in the city.

Also who cares if the HOA shut down that hill? Are they patrolling it? Why would the kids care about that?

Did you read where I said the outside has been closed for legal reasons? In my area that was the only outside park available. It has a fence around it and are you just suggesting kids go get themselves arrested or perhaps worse for trespassing? I guess all is well as long as kids have a wall to bounce a ball off of!

The outside is more than that park or hill that was closed. Unless it's illegal just for kids to be outside, in which case I'd say yea that's unfortunate - but it's not the norm.

Also arrested or worse for trespassing on a hill? Please. The worse they'd get is a lecture by the cops the first time.

Where I grew up the outside is either a a park or a vast desert with pavement everywhere and heat that literally kills several people a year. Kids had the park or nothing, but now it’s literally nothing in that area. It’s sad that people like you can’t believe the actual lived experience of someone else, as if your life is how everyone experiences the world and growing up. Not every urban area is the same. Not every rural area is the same.

Please don't misrepresent what I said. I didn't say you were lying - just that it's not the norm. Most people do not live in a situation where it's a desert with pavement everywhere with deadly heat.

A huge number do live in those conditions, some live where it’s deadly cold, etc. The point is, telling kids just to go outside isn’t reasonable for everyone and third spaces are dying.

Then the kids risk having the cops called, and the parents risk having CPS called from a neighborhood busybody.

That's exactly the problem - even if the kids AND the parents are willing, the wider society makes it such an enormous hassle and risk. And there's no guarantee you'd win a legal case, especially if you can't afford to.

[1]https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/voices/2018/09/05/mom...

[2]https://www.cnn.com/2015/04/13/living/feat-maryland-free-ran...

[3]https://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2014/07/arreste...

[4]https://www.cbsnews.com/news/texas-mom-accused-of-leaving-ki...

I was replying to your other post, but I guess I can do it here... I would argue that there's a reason those articles were written about the incidents. They don't happen as often so when they do, news articles like to highlight the incidents and pretend that they're the norm. It's not.

You posted 3 incidents of it happening - do you know how many kids are out there with parents _not_ getting harassed? A lot more I would bet.

I've seen stories like this many times, sometimes accompanied by comments from police warning parents not to abandon their children. The problem is so bad that there's a whole movement dedicated to trying to stop or reverse this trend that is making (or has already made) it culturally unacceptable to let kids go anywhere or do anything https://www.freerangekids.com/

To turn your argument on it's head: are these types of articles rare because so many kids are out and about un-hassled, or are they so rare because so many people don't let their kids out enough for it to be a common occurrence?

I don't know if one group or another is in the _majority_ or not. I'm also not arguing it isn't still possible for some areas - an area I live some miles away from still has kids out and about - but for a great many people, it's an issue that exists, and it's not an issue that they can easily solve on their own without moving.

> Then the kids risk having the cops called

This examples are fairly extreme, but people calling the police isn’t a new thing.

A friend and I dug a hole that was pretty deep at the beach - police called.

We made too much noise late one night - police called.

We rode our bikes in places we weren’t allowed - police called.

We explored the haunted house - police called.

One kid pointed a cigarette lighter that looked like a gun and a helicopter - police called.

All in the ’90s. Children going too far and irritated neighbours have always been a thing.

Digging holes at the beach is very dangerous. Collapsing wet sand can get in the lungs surprisingly easily, and peope can sufficant long before getting it out.

The rule is no deeper than the knees of the smallest person who may be involved.

I'm not saying the police should be called for every hole. Just that it is a real risk. And generally I'd agree that people overreacting (sometimes myself included) is a tale as old as time.

Oh 100% we were idiots.

The hole was pretty deep - we could only just get out with an extended step ladder.

> The rule is no deeper than the knees of the smallest person who may be involved.

Absolutely not. You are welcome to apply it to your family but don't come applying it anywhere near mine.

I am so utterly bored of absolute risk aversion being preached on every street corner. I'll take some risk and the constituent rewards for me an mine, thanks.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com