Wow, what a big pile of infrastructure for a non-optimization.

An internal call via ifunc is not magic — it’s just a call via the GOT or PLT, which boils down to function pointers. An internal call through a hidden visibility function pointer (the right way to do this) is also a function pointer.

The even better solution is a plain old if statement, which implements the very very fancy “devirtualization” optimization, and the result will be effectively predicted on most CPUs and is not subject to the whole pile of issue that retpolines are needed to work around.