criticizing the "stuff" is okay, this is how we advance, but not the "person"
criticizing the "stuff" is okay, this is how we advance, but not the "person"
Criticism might not change people the way you want however, it is like punishment vs rewards, you can change people by punishing them or rewarding them, both works to change people but in different ways and often punishment makes the person resent you so you should do it sparingly.
And it might not even be the person you're talking to who eventually changes their mind. It might just be a reader, a thousand of whom exist for every one person visibly contributing.
You can't see the mind changing, but it's wrong to conclude that therefore it never happens.
> In my experience, people generally cannot tell the difference.
Often/Usually
> It's possible that I'm at fault in my approach, though.
Probably usually not. Broadcasting good intentions only gets you so far. For most of us it's high skill communication. Earned trust can pave past issues. Past that it's often a minefield of psych factors (you+them) - like having a good/bad day, internal disciplines, where is self-esteem in the equation. A good read on the other person can make mines visible.