A lot of the expensive stuff for kids to “have a chance” is BS, not very relevant to their life outcomes, basically parents being grifted and engaging in status competitions you could choose to opt out of.
When my kids were applying to summer programs, they asked them what they do in their free time, and listing things like reading and practicing crocheting got a very unenthusiastic responses. The expectation is your kid will do a lot, maybe it could be free stuff, but generally free stuff requires more time from the parents.
It doesn’t surprise me that one part the status rat race (selective summer programs) cares about another (after-school activities). The big question is how do either of these play into your kid’s overall life satisfaction. You just have to get over the tragedy of them going to U Michigan instead of Cornell.