I'm usually pretty chill, and can't help but feel like I'm overreacting - but the risk of being sent an unexpected bill of even a few hundred dollars for something outside my control is unacceptable. Trusting that Netlify will do right by me and forgive the debt in a similar situation is not an acceptable strategy for managing that risk, so epiccoleman.com now lives at a provider without this risk.
This is the beauty of static sites, btw - switching to a new host is the work of mere minutes.