You know it's satire from the title (and the first paragraph) because it uses terms like "fired" and "let go". Nobody uses those anymore.
You're "impacted".
You're "impacted".
George Carlin. https://youtu.be/vuEQixrBKCc?si=cLfi4-hH78PA6ZEg&t=217*
"Unfortunately, you have been impacted by my resignation"
If they say impacted, people complain that it's euphemistic.
In the end, people just want to complain, and they're going to do it either way.