Why is the internet broken today?

Lots of outages around the globe [1], that's why!

[1] https://www.thousandeyes.com/outages/

If you see breakage it could be because of this: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39464924

Works on my machine.

Ah yes, a few servers are down and the entire internet is broken!

internet or web?

China.

For real tho i work in intel and all my shits beyond fucked. No GPS no pings no connections. The mobile networks are affected, so most mobile stuff is going to be as useful as a paperweight.

No GPS? That doesn't take an Internet connection.

Unless you mean the first fix took longer due to not having current AGPS info downloaded.