I think the word the author is searching for is anomie. Kids used to develop their personalities via the strictures of a dominant culture, or in opposition to one. Now, there’s no dominant culture. There are a thousand, or a million, little cultures. There’s no big overarching societal goal/narrative to hook yourself to (or to oppose).
A sibling comment quotes Abe Simpson on being with it. I prefer a different Simpsons quote, from the ants on the space shuttle:
“Freedom! Horrible, horrible freedom!”